Monday Mileage

Holy soreness, Batman.

I forgot how much my muscles hate me after strength training. Most of it is self induced. By nature, I am not a competitive person, but when it comes to strength training and lifting weights, I want to lift ALL THE WEIGHT. And apparently do all the squats. I may have over done it, hence the lower mileage this week, but I'm cool with that. My ankle has been a bit tender so backing off has been a good move.

As was the purchase of some new shoes! Here's the deal....I love my Merrells. LOVE THEM. But the nagging "ache" in my ankle wasn't going away and after looking back at my training log, I noticed my first mention of it when I started running in my new shoes. Crap. So, I took myself to Running Fit, our local running store, to see about some new shoes and to get fitted for a pair based on my foot type. What I learned is that I tend to roll my feet out when I walk and run and while the shoes I have were great, they weren't great for me. So after running laps around the store (in my little black dress/business attire because I did this on my lunch break) in various running shoes, I ended up with a new (and least fun) pair of Brooks Ghost 7 running shoes. Friday was my first real run in them and I totally dig these shoes. They felt great on my feet, didn't feel heavy and I was able to "feel" my right foot roll to the outside as I ran. The best thing though is because I could feel my foot roll out, I was able to correct it by consciously leveling out my foot. The result.....no pain in my ankle! So excited. It's going to take some getting used to and adding some additional strength in my feet and ankles (while keeping those calves loose) but I am hoping we're on the right track.


Mileage.....
Monday: 2 mile walk with Bandit
Tuesday: 4 mile run
Wednesday: Personal training session, 1.6 mile walk with Bandit
Thursday: 2.5 mile run, 1.75 mile walk with Bandit
Friday: 3 mile run
Saturday: 2.2 mile walk with Bandit
Sunday:  1.3 miles on the elliptical, yoga class, personal training session, 1.7 mile walk with Bandit

Weekly Total: 18.75 miles (9.25 miles walking, 9.5 miles running)

Random Stuff v1

It's been a week.

I feels weird to be typing this, but I have a new personal trainer.

I fought the notion of signing up with a new trainer for quite awhile. I just couldn't imagine putting my trust in someone again like I trusted D. Melodramatic, I know. But asking for help, no matter the reason, is not something that comes easily to me. So reaching out to someone new is not easy.

But I did and it's been o.k. Not great like it was when I started with D (we connected right away which was the only reason I stuck with it), but I think that is because of my own expectations. I worked really hard to get where I am so having to constantly ask for more weight and adding reps on my own has been a bit frustrating, but we'll get there........I hope.

It's been almost 4 years since I starting seeing a specialist for some foot/ankles issues I was having with my left foot/ankle. It was pretty bad and I ended up having to have surgery to correct the problem. Over the last 2 or 3 weeks, I've been experiencing a similar twinge in my right ankle. No bueno. The frustrating part is that it doesn't hurt all the time. Just occasionally. Sometimes when I run. Sometimes after a run. Sometimes when I am just walking down the stairs. It only hurts whenever it feels like being annoying.

In an attempt to ward off an actual full blown injury, I stopped into Running Fit to get fitted for a new pair of running shoes and will be adjusting my workout schedule accordingly. Back to the elliptical and maybe even the bike for awhile. To say I am frustrated/discouraged would be an understatement but as a wise man likes to tell me, "You have to do what is necessary". Hopefully all of that, along with some extra stretches, ice time and massages with arnica gel  will help correct the problem. I'm not quite ready to call McDreamy yet (yes, I refer my doctor as McDreamy because he is lovely to look at).

Despite the foot/ankle issues, I've committed to my very first race! I am equally excited as I am terrified. A cousin is putting together a team for the Dirty Dog Dash in June. In the past I have sworn up and down that I would never do one of these kinds of events, but I'm actually looking forward to doing it.

What In My (Gym) Bag

I admit it, I love all those "what's in my bag!" posts folks do.

I think I like them because they remind me that no, I'm not alone in carrying all the stuff with me. Sometimes totally necessary. Sometimes totally random.

I thought I'd share with you all what goes with me to the gym.

First, the bag!

I am bag obsessed. I feel one can never own enough bags. You just never know what kind of bag you are going to need for any potential occasion or event that might pop up. One must always be prepared.

Anywho, I am currently using a bag from Haiku. I absolutely adore this line of bags and when I was able to scoop one up for myself (hello discount and gift certificate!) I didn't hesitate. I picked up the Weekender bag, which is kind of like the Tardis. It's a lot bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside.

To be honest, it's almost too big BUT is actually perfect. Because I hit the gym immediately after work, I need somewhere to stash all my work clothes which can be kind of a lot here in the winter (layers people, so damn many layers).

I dig it though. It holds everything I need, with room to spare. AND there is a separate section for your shoes which is a huge bonus.

Onto the stuff!

Drew would tease me all the time about my obsession with all things pink. Which is funny because I don't actually like the color pink. I just own a lot of "pink" things. It's weird.

Shirt // Sports Bra // Shoes // Socks

I always have a long sleeve shirt of some sort to wear after my workouts. Right now, this pink one (I don't get it) is my favorite. I picked it up for like $6 at KMart and it's perfect to throw on before bundling up in my winter jacket.

As for my shoes, I LOVE my Merrell's. This is one of 10 pair of running shoes from them that I own. These are by far my favorites, All Out Rush. Super comfortable and fit like a glove.

Full Length Leggings // Cropped Leggings // Purple Tank // Red Tank

I like to have options when it comes to what I wear during a workout. I adore Old Navy's compression pants and have yet to find another brand that fit me as well as these do. I always have two pair of leggings (full length and cropped) and a few tops to choose from.

These two are my favorite: the purple one I had custom made (an inside joke with Drew) and the red one is from The Fitness Tee Co on Etsy. They have lots of fun tanks and tees. I own way more of them than I really need to.


The bag within a bag....


I bought this zipper pouch from a friend who sells Thirty One bags. It's the perfect size to carry around everything else I need with me at the gym as well as for the cold walk to the car when I'm done working out.

From right to left......
iPhone (I need my jams), headphones, TomTom Runner Watch (I'll be doing a post on this watch within the next week or two), iPod Nano (in case my iPhone dies, I dunno why I have it with me), class punch card, folding brush, loose change, hair ties (can never have too many), bobby pins (again, never enough!), padlock, mascara & eyeliner, deodorant, hand sanitizer, lotion, arnica gel (the best thing EVER for sore muscles) and multiple things of chapstick.

Cold weather accessories which also fit in the pouch...

Hat, buff, headband, and gloves.

Hat // Buff // Headband // Gloves

Not pictured:
--I do tend to layer my tanks when I work out. I don't know why I do it, but my favorite tanks to do so with are from Next Level. They come in lots of fun colors and are relatively inexpensive.
--CamelBak Water Bottle: I always have one with me for optimal hydration during gym session.

There you have it! Everything I haul with me to and from the gym, which sometimes feels like a workout all in itself!

What is something you can't live without when you hit the gym?

Monday Mileage

Again, yoga took a bit of a backseat this week. I've been working in a few yoga flows after each run but none of them "felt" long enough to be noteworthy.

I started back with a trainer this week. I'm still trying to get my thoughts together about it, so that'll be a post later this week.

As for the running, I felt mostly great this week. Tuesday and Thursday were a bit of a struggle--Tuesday I was just plain exhausted and Thursday I wasn't feeling so hot, but I powered through. And felt better for doing so. I do need to figure out how to pace myself better. As I said last week, the faster I run the more comfortable I feel, it's just that I can't keep it up for the whole run. I had planned on running 4 miles on Friday, but by the 3rd I was spent and I know it's because I ran the first 2 miles too fast.

The highlight of the week though was Monday. When I started my run I figured if I could finish 4 miles in 48 minutes that would be great. I'm still taking walk breaks so I feel pretty good about a 12 minute mile, especially at that distance (especially for this newbie runner). But after the first mile I was feeling pretty good and decided to set a goal of finishing in 45 minutes. It took a ridiculous "sprint" at the end but I finished my 4 miles in 44:37. I was pretty excited. There may have been some no-so-subtle fistpumping on the treadmill.

My week:
Monday: 4 mile run (whoop! whoop!), 1.25 walk with Bandit
Tuesday: 2.33 mile run
Wednesday: 1.6 mile walk with Bandit
Thursday: 3.5 mile run, 1.35 walk with Bandit
Friday: 3.1 mile run
Saturday: 1.5 mile walk with Bandit
Sunday: 1.8 mile walk with Bandit

Weekly Totals: 20 miles (12.93 miles running, 7.5 walking)

Apptastic

Let's be honest.

I would be lost, LOST I tell you, without my iPhone. The dang thing is practically another appendage, but as much as I wish I didn't depend on it quite so much, it has become irreplaceable when it comes to keeping me on track and motivated to workout.

I thought I'd share some of my favorite apps that I've been using to keep track of everything and to keep me moving!

Zombie's Run!

I started using the app earlier this fall when I started running outside and was having a heck of a time "getting in the zone". This app has been a fun way to get in the groove while running outside (especially when running hills). Because I also only use it when running outside, "wanting to know what happens next!" helps to push me out the front door. You can listen to your own tunes while saving the world and the GPS is pretty accurate so it tracks my time, miles and pace which is handy.

Rock My Run

I've seen lots of folks post links to their running playlists using services like Spotify and even Pandora has some pretty great cardio playlists for running. I've used them both in the past and Pandora is a staple at the office, but let's be honest--I'm lazy and don't want to labor over putting together a playlist for the gym. Enter, Rock My Run. I've used this app for the the last week or so and it is fantastic. I love that I can sort and pick out mixes based on bmp. It has definitely helped to keep me going on the treadmill.

Daily Mile & Nike +

I may be a wee bit of an over achiever but I actually log my miles in two places. Weird. I know. Previous to using the Zombies, Run app, I used the Nike+ app for all my runs (inside and out) and bought the Nike Fuel Band to keep me motivated and moving (and it makes for a cool watch). I LOVE the Nike+ app and fuel band, but I also needed a place to log other workouts (yoga, strength training, etc.) which is why I started using Daily Mile as well. I can import my runs/walks from Nike+ and it keeps everything nice and tidy.

Lose It!

I started using this app seriously when I started training with Drew. Everything gets logged here (food and activities), but the only thing I actually pay attention to is how much protein I eat a day. The rest of the numbers, while interesting, aren't really of much concern to me.

Monday Mileage

One of the drawbacks to the gym membership I have is that there are certain "blackout dates" which means I'm on my own to figure out how to workout. It can be a bit frustrating, but since the membership is actually free, I don't like to complain about it.

Having said that, after being away for a week and a half, it felt GOOD to get back and get some good workouts in. One of the challenges I have while running on the treadmill is not trusting my legs. I tend to worry too much about not being able to adjust my pace as easily as I can while running outside. But I'm learning to push myself by running "just 30 more seconds" or "just 0.10 further" before slowing down or taking a walk break.

I'm also finding that I'm more comfortable running a faster pace than I am slower one. I just need to work on being able to run at that pace for longer periods of time, but I know that will come over time. With each run I can feel myself getting strong and stronger which is pretty awesome.

My week.......
Monday: 3.31 mile run
Tuesday: 3.1 mile run
Wednesday: 20 minutes of yoga
Thursday : 20 minutes of yoga
Friday: 3.25 mile run
Saturday: 1 mile walk, 30 minutes of yoga
Sunday: 3.2 mile run, 1.5 mile walk, 60 minutes of yoga
Weekly Totals: 15.36 miles

I've been tracking my miles and workouts on Daily Mile. It's pretty awesome to see them rack up! How or where do you keep track of your workouts or miles?

31 Day Yoga Project: Week 1

Oiy vey.

This week. I just. Real life gets in the way of fun some times.

Things have been progressing very slowly with this project. Which I guess in a way is o.k.

At one point, I had thought about trying to tackle baby grasshopper instead of Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana for this project, but managed to tweak something in my wrist. Sadly this made any attempt at any pose requires my hands/wrists was impossible. But that's o.k. I need to remind myself that building a good base is better than mastering some of these harder poses.

Having said that though, trying to find time for yoga has been difficult. I managed practice 4 days this week, which was a total win. After a 4 day weekend, getting back in the swing of things with work and hitting the gym were a tad difficult so I didn't spend as much time doing yoga or working on my core strength as much as I wanted to.

But, it's a new week and another chance to focus on working on the pose and working on building some strength and flexibility. 

New Goals & Monday Mileage

Two for one deal on this post only! More bang for your buck, I say!

Part 1:
As a writer, I have no shortage of journals and notebooks laying about the place, so I decided to turn one into my training log for 2015. When I sat down to write out my original goals for the year, seeing them in the place I'd be "tracking them" didn't really cause a moment of inspiration or even an inkling of "I've got this". So, I re-evaluated and came up with a revised set of goals for 2015!

--Log between 500-750 miles for the year: Originally, it was 500 miles for the year but considering Bandit and I head out for at least a mile every day, 500 wasn't much of a "go get 'em tiger!" kind of number. Plus, I know there will be some days at a time where I don't log anything and some of these miles will be walking rather than running so that number needed to increase to encompass all mileage. So, 500-750 it is!
--Yoga 4 to 6 times a week: Daily was a little over zealous. But that's o.k. This is feasible.
--Learn and hold baby grasshopper and crow: Bring on a strong core and upper body!
--Strength Train 3 to 5 times a week: Riiiiight. I am claiming the 5th on why this wasn't included before.
--Run my first races!: This is the only that didn't change. At all.
--Complete a fitness challenge each month: What can I say? I get bored. I need a good challenge. In January I'm doing a 30 day plank challenge, which by the way sucks! I am happy to getting it out of the way first thing! I'll definitely do a squat challenge again, pushups for sure another but beyond that I'm not sure. Anyone else have a 30 day challenge they did and somewhat enjoyed?

They aren't too different than before, but enough that I feel like I have given myself a little more direction.

Part 2:
I've never really been great at having a "series" on my blog, but we're going to give it a try! Each Monday, in an attempt to hold myself accountable, I'll check in with my weekly mileage/workouts and all that good stuff. I'm hoping it helps to keep my on track. I have some things planned for this fall that count on it!

So without further adieu, here is my first week:
Monday: 2.06 miles
Tuesday: 1.55 miles
Wednesday: off
Thursday (Happy 2015!!): 6 miles, 25 minutes of yoga
Friday: 2 miles, 20 minutes of yoga
Saturday: 3 miles, 25 minutes of yoga/strength training
Sunday: 2.75 miles

Mileage for the Week: 17.35 miles

Lots of miles which is great. I'm looking forward to getting back in the gym to get some good long runs in without the fear of falling on my butt.

You eat what?!

You know those annoying people who proudly proclaim, "Well, I can't eat anything I want!" when they see you eating your "rabbit food"?

I am one of those people.

I LOVE food. I love cooking it, baking it but above all else eating it.

Give me all the pasta in the world and I am one happy gal.

That is until 30 minutes after the meal and then I feel like I've ingested a boulder.

Needless to say, pasta and I have a rocky relationship and are currently not friends.

When I first started working with Drew, the first thing we tackled was the nutrition side of things. I kept a food journal, turned it in, he reviewed and then we talked about it. I remember him asking me if I knew what changes I needed to make and me immediately snapping back "If I knew that already, I wouldn't be here".

Food has a weird pull over people. We, not everyone but some of us, eat when we are happy, sad, bored, worried, anxious, celebrating something, mourning something or just because it is there, staring at you from the counter in the breakroom at work begging to be eaten.

So, to answer his question, no I didn't know what changes needed to be made.

The answer was pretty simple:

• All the fresh fruits & vegetables I wanted (awesome and being a vegetarian totally easy), but dried fruit was out (total bummer) as were bananas (double bummer)
• Beans & lentils (o.k., I could manage that)
• Almonds, Pecans & Brazil Nuts (done!)
• Peanut butter could stay in limited qualities & it had to be the good stuff (whoop! whoop!)
• Another source of protein such as quinoa, TVP or tofu (and eggs if I could stomach it)
• Greek yogurt because it is delicious
• Potatoes could stay as well, but had to be small & only for first or second meal

And that was it. THAT was the list of what I could eat.

No bread, pasta or cereal. No cheese. No chocolate (he did eventually o.k. dark chocolate once in a blue moon but even that came with rules and regulations).  Gone was my delicious trail mix (we all know it's just chocolate with obstacles) and granola. No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a quick dinner. And it was farewell to my pasta. 

We can't forget the rest of the "rules" that came with the diminutive list: all meals were to be consumed between 11am-7pm (hello there, intermittent fasting, not terribly nice to meet you),  meals were no longer to be referred to as breakfast, lunch or dinner (simply meal 1, meal 2 and meal 3) and I needed to start drinking water like it was my job. 

I hated every minute of it. I was never a big breakfast eater but the more I started working out, the more I seemed to crave it in the morning. Having to wait until 11am to eat was brutal. I would literally sit at my desk, will the clock to hit 11am so I could eat something. And that ridiculously small list of "Drew Approved Foods"? Seriously?! How could a person live? I fought him every flippin' step of the way. 

Fast forward six months later.

I still only eat what is on the above list (with an occasional cheat day of course). I still only eat my meals between 11am-7pm (unless I have a work thing, then I adjust according to fit an 8 hour span). And I actually love it and in fact eat, anything I want.

Which is weird, right?

Following that list above took the guess work out of my meals and whether or not I am eating the right stuff, eating enough, eating too much. I no longer worry about carbs or fat or calories, because who has time for that? Who has time to worry about whether or not they "ate all their calories" at breakfast or have tiny little nibbles of food all day because of girls night after work and you don't want to blow it?!

I certainly don't. And it's no fun. But in theory, neither should having to follow that list!

But that was the biggest lesson I learned of all. It did work because I DECIDED to follow it. I didn't have to. I could have done what I've always done which is freak out about fat grams and staying under so many grams of carbs and never once going over a certain amount of calories because if I did, then I failed.

Changing my mindset from "I can only eat" to "I have decided to eat" was incredible. It was one of those stupid "lightbulb moments" where I literally woke up one morning and told myself "The only reason this is happening (i.e. my new outlook on eating) is because you decided that it is happening. No one else is forcing you to do it".

The 'ole "mind over matter" had struck again!

Acknowledging that I had decided to follow these ridiculous (but annoyingly effective) suggestions/rules took away the longing for the foods I "couldn't have". It took away the frustration of feeling limited and gave me back the feeling of having a certain sense of power over my decisions. But more importantly, it was liberating and I'm not sure I could ever go back. 

One Word V2.0

The other day, I was putting together a post for my word for 2015. I was skimming through the freshly written pages in my journal and noticed a theme. Most of what I had written revolved around the theme of finding the strength I need to achieve my goals (on and off the road, in and out of the gym) so it seemed natural for my word of 2015 to be persist. For me to reach any goal I set for myself, I need to persist and push through all walls, real or imagined that come up. I need to push myself and believe in myself. Because no one else is going to do any of this for me.

But the more time I've spending thinking about it and based on how many times I've written about it, been frustrated by it, it doesn't make sense for that to be my word this year. Maybe next year.

This year my word is trust:
noun
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.

None of what I wrote above will happen if I don't focus on trust.

Trust in myself. Trust in those who care about me. Trust in the support that has been built around me by friends and family.

To believe that I can do anything I set my mind to (this is starting to sound like an after school special), I have to trust that I have what it takes to achieve those goals.

source

What is your word for 2015?

31 Day Yoga Project: Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana

Two challenges in one month?

Yes. I have officially lost my mind.

One of my go-to places on the web if I have questions about most things yoga related is Yoga by Candace. The videos she does on YouTube are easy to follow and the info she posts on her website/blog on various poses, sequences, etc. are extremely helpful.

So I was really excited when she posted that during the month of January, she was hosting a 31 day yoga project and this months "theme" is Strength. As she puts it on her blog:

That's right people, we are looking to get strong. Why? 
For so many reasons. Let me count the ways. 
building strength may help to prevent injury
building core strength may alleviate minor back pain and sciatica
building upper body and core strength may improve your posture
building strength may burn fat, if you're looking to tone up
building strength may fuel the progress in our practice

Here is the Deal:
--Pick one strength pose to work on: As much as I'd like to dive right in and try to master baby grasshopper, I'm not sure that is wise. Instead I'll be working on Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana or Standing Big Toe Yoga pose. Seems simple, right? But oh how I wish it was! It's a favorite pose of the instructor who teaches the yoga class I take on Sundays and dammit if I don't always have to hold onto the wall OR put my foot on a ledge every stinkin' time we do it.
--Make a Plan: Thankfully this is going to be the easiest part of the whole thing! I've already committed to myself to practice yoga daily, so this won't be to hard to do! I just need to find sequences that will help build my core strength and work on my flexibility and plan on practicing for 30-60 mins 5 times a week. The other two days will be gentle flow.

I'm really looking forward to taking on this "project" and using it as a way to really focus on my strength and flexibility. 

30 Day Challenge: The Plank

Riiiight......

Remember when I said I was really excited about the 30 Day Squat Challenge? Well, it kind of crashed and burned in the first week.

Awesome.

The problem....well....I guess it wasn't much of a problem....is that I was already doing that many squats per session as it was making it anything BUT a challenge.

Yes, but the end of all the squats my legs were shaky, my butt hurt and my quads hated me, but since it was already part of my regular workout (thanks to D's phone-a-friend workouts) I bailed from the "program" relatively early.

But, this month we are going to try it again. And this time, we are going with an exercise I loath....

The dreaded plank.

I really hate doing them. But I know they are good for working the entire body so I'm going to suck it up and get through it. I'm just going to need to convince myself that I shouldn't look too far ahead on the "schedule" to see how long I need to hold one for.

Source

Being My Own Rock

Yesterday in the shower I penned an email in my head to D. The post holiday sugar high finally wore off (my aunt makes THE best sugar cookies, of which I ate many) and it had me feeling less than stellar.

It had me feeling a bit lost.

So I started the email, knowing I would never send it. But sometimes getting it out, no matter the format does the trick. And it did.

There are still days when I still feel lost and floundering, trying to figure out my next step. Trying to decide what the hell I am supposed to be doing, if I am doing any of this stuff correctly, am I eating the right foods, workout out enough, workout hard enough, all the same questions I had back in July.

As I stood there, I finally asked myself "how can I still NOT know that answers to these questions?!"

And I had the answer.

I do know what to do, what to eat, how much to workout, and if I am working out hard enough.

So the real question all along should have been and continues to be, "Why don't I believe in myself?"

I know the answer is there. Buried somewhere inside under years of not believing I was capable of doing so many thing. Because for whatever reason, I allowed myself to listen to those who told me "You can't."

But really I can.

No one can, should be or will be a bigger cheerleader for me than I am.

No one else can stand in my corner and shout "You've got this!" louder than I can.

Because it is time to start believing in myself.

New Year Suggestions

For me, each year feels like a clean slate. A moment to stop, take a deep breath and reassess. A moment to set new intentions and goals for myself. It is a way of reminding myself that it is o.k. to focus on, well, me.



Here is my list for the upcoming year.....

• Yoga Practice: I love doing yoga. I feel better when I practice. Not just on the day I practice, but even the days following. Incorporating a daily practice will help keep me loose after my runs and will help keep me balanced, even if it is only for 15 minutes. I'd also like to work on being able to arm balances, specifically baby grasshopper. I don't know why, but of all the arm balance poses this one intrigues me the most. 
• Daily Mediation: Along with yoga, daily mediation practice is something I would love to have as part of my daily ritual. I try to sit 4 or 5 times a week but it can be tough with everything going on in daily life. But carving out even 10 minutes to just sit with my breath is something I need to do.
• Nourish my body: I've been lax when it come to eating well. It's time to spend more time cooking, eating better foods and drinking more water. 
• Nightly Recharge: In bed by 10pm, up by 6am. It's time to rediscover my mornings. 
• Write It Out: No matter the topic, it needs to be written out of my head whether it be here on my blog or in my bedside journal. 
• Run: I've been thinking about my "running" goals in general quite a bit. I love to run and honestly, could write an entire post about my running goals for 2015. But I think it's best to keep it simple. So for the next year, I'd like to log at least 500 miles (or an average of 45 miles per month) and run a 5k (maybe even a 10k). That's it. Two short and sweet goals that are both totally doable.

What do you have planned for yourself in the new year? 

A Time to Reflect & Be Thankful

I know we still have a week or so before 2014 comes to an end, but it's hard not to look back over the past year and think about all the blessings that have come my way.

That isn't to say 2014 was an easy year.

There were a lot of ups and downs.

I grew exponentially in the quest to find myself.

But lost my biggest support system along the way.

I lost the best fur friend a girl could ask for when I said good-bye to Sadie.


But opened my home and my heart to the biggest teddy bear of a dog, Bandit, who has reminded me about the power of unconditional love.

   

I have connected with friends near and far. I have forged stronger relationships built on trust and understanding I wasn't sure was ever possible.

I've continue to learn about myself and grow into a woman I am proud to call "Me".

I look forward to what 2015 has in store for me.

Until then, from my little family to yours, happy holidays everyone!

Wanna Be Yogi

I have been practicing yoga on and off since my early 20s.

Previously, my "sessions" had been done solo using a dvd, YouTube or most recently Hulu. It was o.k. but I never really felt like I was getting much out of it.

But a few months ago, following a suggestion by Drew, I started attending a yoga class at my gym to supplement my training sessions.

Taking a class made a HUGE difference in how I approached my yoga practice and how I felt afterwards.

I quickly found that even though I was only going once a week, my whole body felt "off" if I missed a class.  Those extra stretches and holding poses were doing wonders for my flexibility (I've always has ridiculously tight hamstrings) and  taking that time to focus inward and being present in the moment was helping my overall mood.

Recently, I have started doing yoga at home again. For 30 to 45 minutes in the evening, I have been working through sessions to help keep my legs loose and fresh after a run. Thanks to my very helpful yoga instructor, I have also started working on putting my own sessions/sequences together to focus on the areas I need to work on the most.

It has been an amazing experience learning the benefits of each pose, how the poses fit together and how to move from pose to pose. It has definitely made me look at my practice in a whole new way and where I want to go with is in the future.

And yes, drawing out each sequence using stick figures is a pretty fun bonus to this project!

Zombies, Run!

To be honest, the whole zombie/end of the world genre thing is getting a little tired.

Don't get me wrong......I love a good Walking Dead marathon, but it seems like zombies and zombie themed things are taking over.

The irony in that statement is definitely not lost on me. But I digress.

When I am working out at the gym, I find it a lot easier to "zone out" and not worry about how much time has gone by, how many more minutes I have left in a workout (treadmill or elliptical), how far I've gone, etc. But running outside is a whole other story. I'm constantly checking my time, looking to see how far I've ran (I run for distance, not time, while in the great outdoors) and trying to sweet talk myself into pushing ahead. The inability to "get lost" like I do at the gym can be frustrating, no matter how good I am feeling, how well the run is going or how awesome my tunes are.

In an attempt to make my runs a little more interesting, I downloaded the Zombies, Run! app for my iPhone.

Holy fun times, Batman!

Here's a little blurb about the app from the website:
You are Runner 5. Hundreds of lives are counting on you. You've got to help your base rebuild from the ruins of civilization by collecting critical supplies while avoiding roving zombie hordes. Can you save them and learn the truth about the zombie apocalypse?

Essentially, each mission is about 30ish minutes and alternates between the storyline and your tunes. And should you choose, you can enable the game to initiate random "zombie chases" to help kick your runs into a little higher gear.

I will admit that the first "zombie chase" I encountered was a little creepy (I live in a small town, run in the woods, I think you get the jist) but was I reminded myself the zombie sounds I was hearing were in my headphones, it was so much fun!

Knowing that these "chases" could occur at any time, the app has really helped me keep a steady pace and not overdo it too quickly so that when I do need to "outrun the zombies" I'm able to do so without too much issue. It's also been just what I need to shift my focus away from my run too much which has been brilliant.

Do you have a favorite app to help keep you motivated while on a run?

So...like.....you run?

I always have a little laugh to myself when people are surprised when I say I run.

O.k....so I do tend to include air quotes around the word run, but I am getting more comfortable in saying that I am, in fact, a runner.

For me, running had always been this strange kind of mythical thing that only a certain "type" of person could do. We've all seen them. They are long, tall and lanky and look like a gazelle gliding across the plains when they run.

I am none of the above.

I'm tall-ish. While I am "all leg", they are not lean and I am the direct opposite of lanky. As for looking like a gazelle gliding across the plains? Uh...no. I look more like a giant turtle lumbering down the road.

All joking aside, after years of starting and stopping for various reasons, I finally started running again this summer. Previous attempts had failed after trying the Couch to 5k program. I would get to the end of week 5, which is "run for 20 minutes" and want to die and then quit. Other times I would attempt to come up with my own training program or I'd just go out and try to run. It just wasn't happening. And each time I "failed", it felt like a bigger failure than just not being able to run.

There is very much a part of me that holds onto failure much longer than I should. I WISH I was one of those people who look at a setback and use it to push themselves to work harder. I generally try to look at things through the eyes of the "eternal optimist" but sometimes, when I perceive that "my best" just "isn't good enough", there isn't enough optimism in the universe to save me.

Post run ninja!

But I am oh so happy to say that has all changed!

It really does feel a bit like a switch was turned on and I am now running. I try and log 3 miles (with only two or three short walk breaks) at a time. Whether it is on the treadmill at the gym or over the hills and through the woods around my hometown.

No matter the setting or location, it feels amazing!

To be able to put on my running shoes, step out the front door or ramping up the treadmill, knowing that 30 to 40 minute block of time will just be about me is pretty awesome.

Gone are the days of feeling like I am moving through quicksand or that my lungs might explode.

Instead, those days are replaced by new ones of being unbelievably proud of myself and feeling a pretty great sense of accomplishment.

So, while I'm still not quite able to run my entire route or session without a walk break or two and I'm not the swiftest runner out there (still pretty dang proud of myself for keeping a pace just over 11'30" per mile even WITH the breaks) all that matters is I am out there running.

And THAT is what makes me a runner. 

Life after D

Recently, a very dear friend of mine texted me to tell me she was signing up with a personal trainer. As soon as I read her text, I was immediately excited for her and proud of her for doing so. I know how intimidating it can be to make that decision to work with a trainer and putting your trust in them.

But then sadness set it.

It's been about a month since my last session with D....errr.....well, Drew. His name is Drew. And Drew was my personal trainer.

At this point, it seems like I should be "over it". The sadness and disappointment, I mean, of us not working together anymore.

It's a bit weird, really, how quickly that relationship became such an important part of my life  and how hard it has been to let it go.

On one hand, as friends and family like to point out, he was just my personal trainer. He was someone I paid to kick my ass each week in the gym. And I can sign up with another trainer. There are a few others to choose from.

But on the other hand, he represented something that is extremely hard to come by and someone I don't allow myself to have very often in my life: a source of unwavering support and someone I trusted.

For four and a half months, I trained with him for 3 hours each week and checked in with him nearly every day. He knew more about what was going on inside my head, the good and the bad, than my best friends did. He was able to see past the bullshit and get me to open up. None of it was easy and there were times that I hated him for doing it. But I have never felt as strong (mentally and physical) as I do now.

It was by no means easy and I think I had fewer ups than downs and it's taken a lot of time to believe it, but it is true. I am a much stronger person than I ever believed I could be.

So then why I all the anger and frustration and complete and utter sadness over his leaving?

It sounds so ridiculous, but it's because HE left.

The decision to start training had been all me. Each time I showed up at the gym it was because I  got myself there, crammed myself into my compression pants and worked my way through each session with him. And no matter how many times I wanted to give up and quit because "It was too hard", I didn't. Even in the midst of my weird emotional fallout after reaching my "goals" I kept going back. I didn't give up on the relationship and success we had built.

But his leaving feels like he did.

It feels like he gave up on me.

Rationally, I know his decision to pursue other opportunities had/has nothing to do with me.
Rationally, I know that my time with him would come to an end and it was likely better that it happened sooner than later.
Rationally, I know I need to let it go.

But having that decision to now "go out on my own" wasn't one I came to by myself. It was made for me. And that is what hurts and what makes me balk when people ask who I am training with now. Having had that decision taken away from me is what has brought all those walls back up and has me questioning how to get back to that place where I feel like I can trust someone on that level again.

Drop it Like a Squat

I'd thought about doing some big long intro about why I decided to start this blog, what I wanted this space to be and blah, blah, blah.

But we'll get there. There are still bits of that story I am trying to give a voice to. And when that time comes, then I'll be happy to share what prompted this journey.

Until then, we're just going to dive right in.

I've always been leery of those monthly exercise challenges.

I don't know why.

They are kind of a great way to kick start a little competition with yourself to motivate yourself to try something new. And honestly, sometimes it is just easier to not have to think about what needs to be done and have that "plan" already done for you.

Now that I'm working out on my own (oh the sadness of no longer be working with D) each month I'm going to commit to one of these monthly challenges. Just to see what it is all about.

One of the things I learned while working with my trainer is that I LOVE squats. Ridiculous, I know. But I could do them until the cows come home. Regular squats. Split squats. Jumping split squats. LOVE THEM.

For the month of December I'm going to be doing the a Squat Circuit Challenge. Starting tomorrow, I'll be working my way to 4 weeks to 200 squats! I have a feeling that on day 30 I'm going to wish I never decided to do this challenge, but we'll see. I'm always a big fan of proving myself wrong!

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