Being My Own Rock

Yesterday in the shower I penned an email in my head to D. The post holiday sugar high finally wore off (my aunt makes THE best sugar cookies, of which I ate many) and it had me feeling less than stellar.

It had me feeling a bit lost.

So I started the email, knowing I would never send it. But sometimes getting it out, no matter the format does the trick. And it did.

There are still days when I still feel lost and floundering, trying to figure out my next step. Trying to decide what the hell I am supposed to be doing, if I am doing any of this stuff correctly, am I eating the right foods, workout out enough, workout hard enough, all the same questions I had back in July.

As I stood there, I finally asked myself "how can I still NOT know that answers to these questions?!"

And I had the answer.

I do know what to do, what to eat, how much to workout, and if I am working out hard enough.

So the real question all along should have been and continues to be, "Why don't I believe in myself?"

I know the answer is there. Buried somewhere inside under years of not believing I was capable of doing so many thing. Because for whatever reason, I allowed myself to listen to those who told me "You can't."

But really I can.

No one can, should be or will be a bigger cheerleader for me than I am.

No one else can stand in my corner and shout "You've got this!" louder than I can.

Because it is time to start believing in myself.

A Time to Reflect & Be Thankful

I know we still have a week or so before 2014 comes to an end, but it's hard not to look back over the past year and think about all the blessings that have come my way.

That isn't to say 2014 was an easy year.

There were a lot of ups and downs.

I grew exponentially in the quest to find myself.

But lost my biggest support system along the way.

I lost the best fur friend a girl could ask for when I said good-bye to Sadie.


But opened my home and my heart to the biggest teddy bear of a dog, Bandit, who has reminded me about the power of unconditional love.

   

I have connected with friends near and far. I have forged stronger relationships built on trust and understanding I wasn't sure was ever possible.

I've continue to learn about myself and grow into a woman I am proud to call "Me".

I look forward to what 2015 has in store for me.

Until then, from my little family to yours, happy holidays everyone!